Parenting

I realized I hadn’t written in a while. Usually, it is poetry, but today I want to talk about parenting. I could tell you that it’s hard, but you already know that. I wasn’t prepared for it, and most days, I don’t think I’ll be prepared for it. It’s not my strongest suit especially being a single parent of a girl. I never understood why me? Why God thought I should be a mom, but then I realized that maybe it has to do with teaching me something, some lesson that was to make me stronger or to have someone love me unconditionally because he knew I would always be by myself. I don’t know, but I can tell you new parents that parenting is hard as hell, even when they graduate, start driving and picking partners. I worry every day will take the best of me with her, did I teach her right, what did I not do, what did I miss. Truth is I don’t know. Was I made for this? or was someone laughing somewhere watching me fall apart. Her dad is a joke, he has never been around, and missed everything, maybe that was to stick it to me. I’ll eat that because she deserves a chance to be so much more than I could ever be. She deserves to glow and shine in her power. Parenting is hard and loving a child beyond yourself is hard especially when you have to let them grow and be their own person. She’s not me, she’s not my mom, she’s Asjah. She is more than enough, she is learning, and growing, and she must walk the path of adulthood alone sometimes without my hand, and though it’s hard I’ll pray that God covers here and keeps her protected and safe. I am a mother I am a mother.